Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
