I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
