Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
