Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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