i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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