Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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