Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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