the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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