Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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