i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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