Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That's intense
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
