when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
