I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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