Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
