Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When are your genitals available?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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