He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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