brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
