You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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