By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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