i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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