Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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