When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
