i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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