Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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