Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
