one word: firstdatebathroomanal
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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