Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
