yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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