I think i peed on brittanys purse
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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