i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
