am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
