if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
