Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
