You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
