we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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