Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
