Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
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At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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