Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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