i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
