Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
