just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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