Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
