she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
