Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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