Why are handjobs necessary in class?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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