ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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