just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
