Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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