All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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