Fuck appropriateness.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
