I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
