He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
