$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
