We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
