the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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