I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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