So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
