but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
