The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
