Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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